Interview a woman on her decision to have children or be "childless" (may be temporary). Summarize her response and your thoughts regarding your interviewee's response. Note: you may discuss your own thoughts on having children instead of conducting an interview.
I consider myself so very blessed to have had two wonderful children, one daughter and one son, and being a parent has been the most fulfilling part of my life. I grew up in a large, blended family with five children, and was raised to believe that growing up, getting married and having children was simply expected if one was to have a “normal” life.
But I have learned, through friends who have remained childless by choice, that having children doesn’t always fit into certain lifestyles. One such couple, Roger and Jean, were high school sweethearts, married shortly after graduation, and recently celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary. They are two of the most “connected” people I have ever known, but I simply cannot imagine these two good friends in the role of parents. They have chosen to remain childless throughout their marriage, but for them this decision hasn’t meant they were “missing” a vital part of their lives; instead, they have had the freedom to do things that were important to them and brought them happiness. They have traveled the world together, lived in faraway places, and experienced events and places many of us have yet to see, and perhaps never will. Some might consider their decision a selfish one, but I certainly don’t see it this way. They are still so obviously happy and “connected”, and my perception is that they simply wouldn’t want to share each other with another person, especially a child. Both are career-oriented, fun-loving people who decided early in their marriage that they would remain childless, and they remain happy with this decision.
I believe the decision to have a child, or not, is one of the most critical ones a woman will make in her lifetime, and she should have a firm idea of what she wants and expects from life before deciding to have a child. If the role of “family” is important, then both potential parents should have realistic expectations of the time, emotional and financial commitment required to raise a child from infancy through college. And if career or “freedom” is more important, then she/they should consider the option to remain childless, by choice.
Carol Martin
Cmartin18@twu.edu
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This was a interesting blog to read. I have a 6 year old daughter, but I only have her half the time. I was very young and her dad and I were not meant to be together. I did not plan to have her but I am glad that I did. I think that the absence of a child from a couple that openly agrees not to have any is great, there are so many people in this world that have children by the dozen and cannot care for them financially or emotionally. These children are often cast aside and ultimately left to defend for them selves. I think your friends are strong in their choice to not reproduce. I'm sure that they could adequately support a child financially and are made aware of this by there family. After having a child I understand so many things that I would have never known. Being a mother is a unique thing and your right on target about the fact that if you like freedom and want to make a lot of money you would not be able to emotionally support your child in the way they need. Your friends are among the few people in the world that are smart enough to make this difficult decision.
ReplyDeleteCertainly interesting! I’m not married and don’t have plans having children any time soon. But it strikes me with confusion as to how people bear the fact that keeps them from having children. Especially for women I see, they have the inner blessed feeling of wanting to have children and it seems to be like a curse to those who can’t bear children. I have seen a lot of examples back home (Nepal), where a husband just marries another woman just because she can’t bear children. We don’t generally see a case in which a woman does that to a man (very rare cases).
ReplyDeleteYou might want to check this link out. This is an article written by,"The European Journal of Contraception and Reproductive Health Care". Very well written.
http://0-web.ebscohost.com.library.dcccd.edu/ehost/pdf?vid=4&hid=103&sid=5b4753a5-6de4-4866-bb02-d00f4d3cdab2%40sessionmgr112
(just copy and paste this link) Hope it helps.
Hi Carol,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your blog especially because I have an aunt who has never married and never had children. I don't know if she wanted children at a certain point in her life, but she is very independent and likes to do her own thing. She had a high school sweetheart and her father ran him off and she decided to remain unattached from then on. She is now almost 70, but has so many nieces and nephews that she gets to spend time with kids, but then they go back to their homes at the end of the day:)
Stephanie
Hi,
ReplyDeleteIt is very stranged to not have child for life.This is very excited article for me to read.
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